Ever feel like you have depression, every fiber tells you that you are depressed, but those 10 question tests on depression sites say you are OK. Yeah today is one of those days for me.
I am bored, uninspired, and worse yet I am incredibly lonely.
I have never in my life had a girlfriend and that scares the hell out of me. We never know when our clock will run out of batteries or become unplugged in this world. Finding someone is on my list of things to do before by clock flashes 12:00 over and over. Death waits for no man, it is a cold spectre with a chillingly acute schedule to uphold. I am a big guy which I know leaves my clock on a permanent "Spring Forward" time. Yes ladies and gentlemen I fear death.
Why do I have to be a "Nice Guy". I see guys every day raise their fist to women with no fear of being separated because they know they will find someone new that same day if they want. Me I am a nice guy, I will be 24 in just under 3 months and I could ask out 1000 women between now and then and get the same answer... NO! Sometimes I even get HELL NO! Why is that. Just on looks or is it because I actually was raised with a manner or two. So what I am a 6'4" fat guy that doesn't curse every other word or call women B*tches and H*es. I deserve a chance to be liked by someone, hell maybe even loved. I am not one of those "Screw and Skedattle" guys either.
Sometimes though I don't know why I try anymore. Maybe I should accept defeat and go though life as an observer instead of a participant. It wouldn't be much different than how I live now but maybe one of my friends here can tell me why I am worth a damn and lift my spirits some.